 |
| The internet connects us on a global level. |
THESIS - Although the internet has made a tremendous impact on our
lives, since the introduction of social media and major communication and
informative websites, it has caused us to become less interactive with others
on an intimate level. The change in modern day society allows people to share
their everyday adventures in a matter of seconds. The shift from face-to-face
interaction to over the internet is evident especially with the use of social
media. Since the invention of the internet in 1958, the advancements have led
to people becoming more reliant on the internet to gain knowledge and communicate.
For my essay, I plan on discussing the shift from face-to-face interaction to becoming a society that is dependent on the internet to interact with others. My body paragraphs will focus on the different impacts that major social media networks and informative websites have on us. The essay will follow a timeline, introducing when these websites were invented and the purpose they serve. I will use many different sources that show different sides of the argument and how the internet got to the point that its at today. Some of the sources that I plan to use are present throughout the article
Thanks for reading.
For my essay, I plan on discussing the shift from face-to-face interaction to becoming a society that is dependent on the internet to interact with others. My body paragraphs will focus on the different impacts that major social media networks and informative websites have on us. The essay will follow a timeline, introducing when these websites were invented and the purpose they serve. I will use many different sources that show different sides of the argument and how the internet got to the point that its at today. Some of the sources that I plan to use are present throughout the article
Thanks for reading.
It seems to me that you have a very solid foundation, however I'm unsure if you have included your thesis into this. If you did included it then I would suggest that you make your thesis stronger.
ReplyDeleteI like that your essay is going to talk about what we have talked about in this class. "Flight from the conversation" However, your thesis is not that clear as Jamirah said. I thought it was about internet, but it was about how people interact each other. I think you better state your thesis as "How people's way to interact each other has been changed" something like that. Internet is supporting evidence of people's interaction has been changed, but it is not a part of your thesis I guess.
ReplyDeleteI can't entirely pinpoint which the last of the two sentences are your thesis. Is it the shift in communication or reliance on the internet? I think it needs some tweaking to have it supported by your content. As to what you want to write about in your body paragraphs, I think it's good and you're going about it in a clear, chronological timeline, but it still seems so broad. It's good that you've narrowed your supporting arguments to social medias, but you still have to explain why the shift happened.
ReplyDeleteRyann, I think your peers gave you some valuable feedback, especially on the specificity of your thesis. This IS an interesting shift, but it's also very, very broad. (The broader it is, the less depth you'll achieve, the more generic your content will be, and the less impact you'll have on the audience.)
ReplyDeleteThat being said, I'd consider looking at one specific way in with the Internet has changed a specific aspect of life. Sherry Turkle's article already covered how our conversation has shifted from face-to-face to more fragmented forms, like texting, so what new angle could you add to this that the audience hasn't already heard? (Remember you don't want to simply rehash information that might be common.)
Given this, perhaps consider a different way in which the Internet has changed us, and then craft a more specific thesis from that point. I think it could really help!